Earthquake in Nepal; Response for the harm?

It’s 4 in the morning and I just can’t seem to fall asleep. So just to make myself useful and get less scared of random scary images in my mind, I am writing this. Now it’s not at all about my boyfriend or love life. I am just going to try writing about some deep things. The following lines are about things that don’t actually occur to my mind much.

As a young (I feel old) writer. Well not a real writer though, but I have been getting this feeling to jot down something about the very disheartening natural disaster that has occurred in Nepal. Several earthquakes have crushed Nepal. It has left the whole world with great sympathy for the country and its people. It’s sad to see people die. It’s so sad to see people suffer and it’s so sad we can’t really stop our mother earth from being rude.

I am sad for Nepal and I have the country and its people in my heart, in my prayers but I have been wondering why so much of death tolls and destructions because of earthquake. I am a geography student and I fail to remember any earthquake that has caused this much destruction within a short period of time.

I have been thinking about it for several days now and I wonder if it is due to the ritual of sacrificing animals (ox, Buffalo, etc) to please their goddess. If it’s so, may be they pleased their goddess yet has totally done the reverse to mother earth. Is the mother upset with the heartless harm to her children? She is, certainly! It must be why she is being uncaring too as for mother earth, every creature is her child; harming one would always mean being inconsiderate to her.

I feel it’s like the karmic concept. What goes around comes around. Harm others and it bounces back, hitting hard. So, I wish the ritual of sacrificing animal stops and the mother earth stops being inconsiderate. 

But right now, I am praying for Nepal. Praying to mother earth and begging for forgiveness. I am praying that Nepal bravely passes this phase and rises up stronger than ever! Nepal has all my prayers!

P.S. These are my thoughts and about the destruction of earthquake in past..i am just too sleepy to verify it. So the readers please correct me if i am wrong. Thank you! :)

Letting you GO!

I stand here, in the same place again. I am ignored! And I am hurt! More hurt because things between us seemed so wonderful a moment ago. It seemed so much real until the truth slapped me again, on my face. I heard people saying “People change. Things change.” I wish you did! I wish you changed for me, for our love and for our life. You didn’t and it’s sad. It left us with a very “UN-happy” end.

I had this love in my heart from the time I saw you. I am sorry I fell too much in love with you. I should have known that it was just a fling not love for you. But dear boy, I shouldn’t forget to appreciate your talent of pretending things. It really made me believe you loved me. It made me blind, too blind in your love (“fake love” I correct.)

Now that I cry every time I think of you, I realize I was too wrong to love you. I was too wrong to expect. You made me dream and you destroyed the whole thing so badly. Everything is a nightmare now. Every part of it haunts me each time I breathe. I feel weak to my knees. I ached for your love, you didn’t care. You were with someone. You found someone better than me. Let me be happy for you. I will be happy for both of you though it breaks my heart to see to go away with someone new.

It’s hard when things change. Sometimes people don’t need to speak up something. You get it from their action. Your ignorance told me everything. It told me I don’t have any right to call you mine and it’s over no matter how much I try to make it right.

 

But it’s okay. It really is! I will cry few more days or few more months or even few more years but I will be okay some day. Someday I will look at these moment and laugh feeling silly. Laugh like it was all so easy to let go. Then I will smile and love myself more than I love you now. Everything will be beautiful again. I promise I will take better care of my heart. I won’t let it be broken ever again. I will come out stronger. I will make myself happy. I will be my own strength.

Until then, I will cry. I will scream. I will go out with swollen eyes. But just until that someday! I promise it to myself. I will be okay without you one day.

 

It all started with a smile and just a simple “yes”. It was never meant to go down in flames like it did. Our love was supposed to grow not fade but they say, sometimes good things fall apart so that better things can come together. I am awaiting the better thing to come my way. And I am positive! 

# I was just too bored to stay idle so i wrote something and it made me feel good :)

My Magnitude journey

May be I always dreamed to be one, maybe it was something meant to happen but I never knew I could or I never thought I would. It was out of nowhere!! I never thought I would ever be a part of it but I guess I underestimated myself yet I am happy it occurred in the right place at the right time.

Modeling was a new thing for me. No, it is not that I am backward kind of person or I don’t get much interested in those glamorous things but it was just that, I thought I was not fit for it. I thought it’s something impossible until someone pushed me and said, “Thinley, you should go for it. I am sure you will be the BJMC’s next top model!” I laughed in surprise. I was not sure if I should go for it because I was not so confident. 

With all those confusion I stepped forward. Audition scared the hell out of me! I was like, OH MY GOD!!! But I don’t know how, I got selected. After that the journey went smooth. Round after round, I went clearing it and I was contended to reach the final. I was just a part and I did not deserve anything more than the great experience for I never trusted myself enough. 

They say, we should expect something unexpected, just like that, surprisingly I was titled the Ms. Magnitude Asia- One of the biggest achievement of my life. 

Now I look back to those moments and smile. I think back and realize, I should have trusted myself because my own happiness is inside my soul and my capabilities would bring me wonders.

Baby, it's our LOVE story

A young dream of mine came true. A silly wish of mine came true. Something I never thought would be mine but it’s now mine. I smile with my heart for meeting you then and meeting you back again. I wonder if I was blessed the day I turned your way and saw your charming face. I fell for you; a 12 year old girl fell in love! I called it a crush.

There was something in your serious looks, I could sense. It was something very different than what others saw and sensed. It was  always a pleasurable moment just to dumbly stare at you and wonder if you would ever look at me the way I did. I never thought you would. Every time I thought of being with you, I would slam the door of “impossible” on my thoughts. You deserved better if anyone could sense your charm the way I did.

I was just let to see you for a year; my fate pulled me away from a place where I lived for 12 years and where my heart lived. Years passed, farther away my fate took me from you. Only if I could forget those feelings would I have forgotten you. But it never occurred to me. Sometimes, may be situation faded your memories for while but at certain moment it came back to me, it all came back to me.

And on a fine day, ii found you on this awesome social networking site. After searching you from the day I created a facebook account for myself. I was on the ninth cloud when I found you on facebook. A big “THANK YOU” to facebook for that. I saw you again. I felt those things again. We were in contact but guess our fate had another plans again, I lost my way in my journey back to my old love. It was fate, as you say it. I wish we were together from the first time we met, as you say you, I do too. But fate, you know it’s all surprises stored for us. Who knows, if we dint separate then we wouldn’t be together now.

Again we meet part now! I am back from my college and you are on vacation too. We talk to each other and we plan to meet. How wonderful I felt! I couldn’t deny that most awaited opportunity of seeing you in real.

It was a very cold evening. If it was not to see you then I wouldn’t have moved an inch away from that heater but it was like, “the cold never bothered me anyway” kind of feeling that swayed me that day.

That evening I saw you. After SIX LONG YEARS!!! I saw you again!

I was nervous. You were too? But I did not want you to sense that so I covered it with my skill of talking non-sense. We went for a long walk. It was really cold. My hands felt numb. I was shivering internally because of the cold but I was happy to be with you. Being with you was something I wished, so I did not want to spoil that moment just because it was cold. I could bear it, for it was for you!

That night, my phone beeped. I unlocked my phone and saw it was your message. I smiled. Even before opening it, I smiled. When I did, it was something I wished when I was young coming true. It was totally unexpected! I wished but I never expected it. You said you loved me! How could I say no?

Things in my life got brighter after that day. We had those night long conversations and messaging. Even every day meeting ups. I loved being with you. You made me love my present as well as my childhood times. You were not just a boyfriend but an old friend, my first innocent crush, and that made me love you even more.

As time passed, some curses worked on us. We saw our bad days, just like all couples do. Getting hurt and having misunderstanding were just a part of a relationship, I knew. But in your case, may be because I expected best from you, I never thought we would face such phases. When it did, it almost shattered my hopes and dreams of us. (Thank you for being strong when I fell weak on those times.) Thank god! Those times are gone now. Crying my eyes out was tough. Staying all night and hiding all that pain was tough but when I think back now, it was all worth.

Now, here we are. Eight months of togetherness and all those smiles and tears. All the sorrows and happiness we shared. All the trust and affection we have for each other. All the good times and bad times, we went through. All the times we stayed together and the times we have stayed apart (in distance) holds an enormous significance in my life. I don’t know what the future holds for us but I just wanted you tell you that, with all the flaws you have, all the things that has hurt us, all the times I have spend missing your presence, every moment that I wished you were here, and every, every, moment I cherish, I LOVE YOU!

 

 

P.S. Mr. Fate, you should keep this guy with me now. No more separation. We have had it all. Let us stay happy. Please bless us with togetherness for all times to come.

And Galay, I LOVE YOU to moon and back baby!